Behavioural nudges to improve parenting

We are all aware of the '5-a-day' campaign in the UK which encourages people to eat at least five portions of fruit and vegetables daily to improve health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases. This campaign started in 2003 using behavioural nudges to raise awareness of the benefits of fresh fruit and vegetables and to change dietary habits.

What if we could do the same with parenting?

Why parenting? Poor parenting  is the root cause of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) which are defined as ten traumas:

• Sexual; Verbal; Physical abuse;
• Emotional; Physical neglect;
• Parent who is mentally ill; an alcoholic.
• Mother is domestic violence victim; Family member jailed; Loss of parent by divorce or abandonment.

People affected by several ACEs have much higher risk of poor health, educational failure, imprisonment, addiction, etc. For example, a study of men in prison in Wales found that nearly half of prisoners (46%) reported they had experienced four or more ACEs. This compares to just over 1 in 10 (12%) in the wider population.

People exposed to 4+ ACEs can die 20 years earlier than those with no ACEs. Four or more ACEs significantly increase the odds of a person:

• Developing cancer (by nearly two times)
• Being a current smoker (just over two times)
• Having sexually transmitted infections (by two and a half times)
• Using illicit drugs (by nearly five times increased risk)
• Being addicted to alcohol (over seven times increased risk)
• Attempting suicide (over 12 times increased risk)

Individuals, communities and society therefore pay a huge cost in dealing with the effect of ACEs - wasted lives, premature death, effect on communities e.g. anti-social behaviour, healthcare, justice, education costs i.e. spending taxpayer money.

Prevention starts with awareness, especially by parents, schools, doctors, social workers, police, local government, etc. Organisations can develop ‘trauma-informed practices’ to mitigate the effects.

A research survey by the author showed that 50% of 18-50 year old parent respondents had no or little knowledge of ACEs and 76% no, little or moderate knowledge. 52% would change their parenting approach a lot or great deal if they had more information about ACEs and 78% a lot, great deal, moderate amount. (+-7% confidence level). This demonstrates there is great scope here for community awareness actions and behavioural science nudges.

Could an awareness campaign be constructed around messages targeted to parent/child spaces e.g. billboards near schools, Mumsnet, family hubs, nursery schools, parent and toddler groups, etc?

So what simple behavioural nudges could be used to change parent behaviours? 

​Parents respond to nudges that feel protective, practical, and emotionally safe. On one hand, there are 'awareness' nudges - raising awareness of the harm parents' actions could have on the future health and 'success' of their children. On the other, there are 'positive parenting' nudges - reminding parents of good parenting practices.

Let's look first of all at possible 'awareness' nudges. These combine one or all of four ingredients:

• a clear threat that feels relevant and does not accuse.
• a hopeful counter‑path, showing that futures can be changed.
• a simple next step - small moments matter giving parents a role they can feel proud of.
• a sense that “parents like me care about this.”.

Here are some initial suggestions:

• “Childhood trauma in the home leaves marks we can’t see — but they shape their whole journey.”  Parents rarely connect everyday stress to adult illness. This line makes the link unavoidable.
• “The first 1,000 days of a child's life shape the next 30,000.” Parents instantly understand why early experiences matter.
• “Most parents believe every child deserves a safe, nurturing home.” This signals that caring about ACEs is normal. (Needs research to back this up).
• “Too many young lives are being cut short by preventable childhood trauma in the home.” People act more to avoid loss than to pursue gain.
• “Children don’t choose adversity — but adults can choose to reduce it.” Feels empowering rather than blaming.
• "Discover how childhood trauma in the home affects long‑term health — and how simple daily habits can protect children.” Makes ACEs knowledge feel normal and expected.
• “Your child’s brain is wiring itself around whatever it feels most often at home — love or fear.” It’s a shock to realise that repeated emotional states become architecture, not just “phases.”
• “You may have inherited your parenting style — but your child will inherit what you choose next.” Parents respond strongly to legacy, identity, and the desire to give their children a better start than they had.

Followed by - "Find out more about the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences at MyACEStory.com along with simple steps to help prevent or reduce them."

[My ACE Story website is one website that gives further information]

Now, let's take a look at 'positive parenting' messaging. These combine one or all of four ingredients:

• a focus on strengths, not shortcomings
• highlight small, achievable behaviours
• reinforce the parent’s identity as a caring, capable adult
• avoid shame and keep the tone warm, hopeful, and empowering

In New Zealand, there was a community campaign originally called SKIP (Strategies for Kids, Information for Parents) - and run by a small Government team. Their vision was for all children in New Zealand to be raised in a positive way by parents and caregivers who feel confident about managing children's behaviour as part of a loving, nurturing relationship.

The campaign was structured around six core, research-based, distinct principles identified as being necessary for children to grow into happy, capable adults; ‘Love and warmth’, ‘Talking and listening’, ‘Guidance and understanding’, ‘Limits and boundaries’, ‘Consistency and consequences’ and ‘A structured and secure world’. So could this be reduced to '6-a-day'?

What could be those 'positive parenting' nudges? Here are some initial suggestions:

• “A quick hug can reset a difficult moment for both of you.” Love and warmth.
• “Your smile is one of the safest places your child knows.” Love and warmth
• “A simple ‘tell me more’ opens the door to trust.” Talking and listening
• “When you slow down and listen, your child feels seen.” Talking and listening
• “Understanding your child’s feelings helps them understand themselves.” Guidance and understanding
• “A calm explanation teaches far more than a quick correction.” Guidance and understanding
• “Clear boundaries do not push children away — they make children feel safe.” Limits and boundaries
• “Kind limits show your child you care about their safety.” Limits and boundaries
• “Children thrive when they can predict how you’ll respond.” Consistency and consequences
• “Consistency builds trust — your child learns they can rely on you.” Consistency and consequences
• “Simple routines help your child feel grounded and safe.” A structured and secure world
• “A predictable day gives children space to grow.” A structured and secure world

If you are involved with parents, why not create some messaging where you meet with them?